Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Bring me that man meat
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
