either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I showed him my bush... on skype.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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