that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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