I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
