Its about making memories worth repressing
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
