Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
