I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
