I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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