i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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