their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
