WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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