you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
