:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
