I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
