finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize