Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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