I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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