last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You need Xanax blowdarts
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
