so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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