Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
