why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
