You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
