the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
