so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
