I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
