Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
