Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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