A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Alive.
So much puke
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Randomize
