Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
