when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
