i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
