Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How naked do you want me to be?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
