dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
