i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
