Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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