What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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