Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
