Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
