I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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