I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
