That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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