For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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