question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this will be a night to untag.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
