I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
