is your mom at the bar?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
