I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
