Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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