Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
