You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize