..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
