Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
