I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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