You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
