I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so let's talk penis.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
