I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
