Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
